Fuck, I hate myself sometimes. Okay, that sounds a bit more emo than even I can stand. What I mean is, I have these sort of episodes or phases or whatever where the itch and desire to write becomes so strong, I have to talk/write about the strength of the urge, and then....nothing. I get all of these ideas floating around, and nothing happens. Then a buddy of mine starts in, rattling off all these ideas that he has that he thinks he'll do nothing with himself, and so he gives them to me, knowing that I'll probably not do anything with them except kick them around in my head for 5 minutes before I start to think about boobs or Batman again.
Sometimes, I just get the urge to write. What do I want to write? Fuck if I know, but I just want to write. So I blog. And I bitch. I make up any excuse NOT to write. The most common stumbling block is I worry about form. How should I write this line, how should I write that line? What should this guy do next? What should he say next?
Fuck it. I've got to write something, even if it kills me. This itch always comes back for more. It never goes away. I'm not going to make a resolution that I know I'm not going to keep. I just need to write and shut the fuck up. I need to say to myself, yeah, I have these excuses, but I'm going to ignore them because they aren't helping. They only make matters worse. So, fuck it. I'm gonna write whether it kills me or not.
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Do you keep a diary? Not a blog, but a diary? I used to. Now I don't know what to write in it. I got up, I went to work, I came home, fixed food, ate food, played on the computer, and went to bed. Real exciting.
ReplyDeleteI've always heard that you should write what you know. What do you know? You know a lot from reading. Take a thread of something interesting and go for it. Otherwise, you can write about your big black pussy, Batman, your fuzziness, or about the people you work and go to school with. Or hell, put all of them together! A fuzzy Batman that likes his big black pussy kitty that works at UPS and goes undercover to pharmacy tech school in his free time.
LMAO! Brilliant idea! No, I don't write in a diary. Back in my teen years, I tried multiple times, but I only ended up doing an entry or two before I lost the damn thing and completely forgot about it. Believe me, it's something that I've thought about doing again for a long time, but I'm more likely to forget about it and lose it than I am to writ in it daily. I have no real problem writing daily if I put my mind to it. I just don't feel the urge to put my mind to it. That's a whole new urge to deal with.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could write while on your computer? I started a diary in a Word document as I went through the fun times of my nervous breakdown in 2007. I think I still have it. It's amazing how much I've changed since then.
ReplyDeleteWriting can be a chore. Just try to think of it as a chore that has to be done, like taking shower or eating dinner. Or whatever it is that you do everyday. Just take a few minutes out and jot down a little here and there. Do some research and write down what you've found. Write down jokes that you heard that had you laughing. Write down descriptions of your friends, coworkers, and whoever you meet during the day.
There's an author that writes down ideas on scraps of paper and sticks them all over her walls and under a glass blotter on her desk.
I also knew of a writer that also wrote down things on scraps of paper, put them all in a hat and picked one or two out and wrote a story around it.
Just brainstorming...
Given the story idea your husband gave me, I wrote for about an hour and got 2 pages done. I'm gonna try and write for an hour at a time each time I write. I'm not gonna say I'll write everyday. I'm just going to say that when I do, I'm gonna do it for an hour.
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